The Purpose of Singleness Devotional: Week 3

Text: Proverbs 3:5-6; Zech 4:6; Matthew 16:25; Ruth 3:18; Romans 15:4; Deuteronomy 31:8; Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 62:1-2;  2 Timothy 1:7

When I started on my journey of being single, I pinterest searched Singleness and God. I started reading blogs, quotes, and finding scripture that referenced positive messages that helped me to feel less lonely and sad about being single. I was looking at how God could help me feel better, tell me who I am or what decisions to make. 

When I started reading the bible or doing a bible study, I got flustered and confused.  I felt defeated trying to understand the scripture and eventually just gave up.   It was not until I picked up the book Women of the Word, How to Study the Bible with both Our Hearts and Our Minds by Jen Wilkins.  I started realizing the true meaning of studying the bible. I began to understand that it is not just about finding out who I am or who God wants me to be but it is about understanding God’s beliefs and emotions and finding out who He is. 

I saw that by giving up trying to understand the scripture in the Bible, I was giving up on understanding God. For me, giving up when things get difficult is what I do when I am trying to avoid a situation or emotion. That is the reason I have always been in a relationship. There was too much pain in being single and having to process my emotions, so I use a relationship to avoid having to work through my past and not feel pain. 

I have learned that being single is a gift from God. It is something many people in our society do not get the chance to experience. I did not understand the concept of “having a relationship with God” because there was no physical aspect involved and I thought God could not communicate back and forth in conversation with me.  When I am in a relationship, I use intimacy for validation and date men based off attraction. I do not actually get to know the person I am dating. The purpose of singleness for me is to stop giving up, using physical intimacy to define a relationship and stop avoiding my emotions and pain. It means to sit down, study the bible, understand the scripture, and take the time to find out who God is, and through that, I gain an intimate spiritual relationship with God. The kind of relationship that cultivates self-love, acceptance and a relationship that no human could ever give me.  Being single is God’s way of telling me I need to spend time with Him. 

Jessica Gawron