The Long Journey to "Single and Happy"
I am single. Happily.
To some, singleness should not even be an issue for me at my age (20). But with all the peer pressure, convention and the simple fact that I look and act older than I am, it is a big issue.
And it has been a long journey to here.
I am probably not the only one, but for a long time before fourteen months ago I had felt like my life was chaotic and I needed a 'prince charming' to cause everything to fall into place. And it never happened. The chaos didn’t stop, prince or no prince.
I went to a single sex boarding school for the best part of my adolescent life and NOT having a boyfriend was almost a taboo. I had lost my mum at age ten, so I didn't have a female model to look up to. That, coupled with all the blows to self worth and esteem in boarding school threw me into a serious identity crisis. I had kept myself formless, just ready to fit into prince charming’s mold. I wanted to know his definition of 'princess charming' and become her. After being several versions of 'princess charming', I was fed up and frustrated too. I didn't like myself and I believed if there was a guy in my life who would love me enough, maybe I would start loving myself. Didn’t work. I would always feel lonely, and hang around friends all day because it was painful to stay with myself, my pathetic thoughts and pity parties. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror and not cringe,
Then a little over a year ago I had an encounter with God that changed me. That happened a few months after I enrolled as a first year student at the Bethel Atlanta School of Supernatural Ministry. I learned about Kingdom Identity and intimacy with the Father. He began to show me how much I meant to him and how deeply He loved me. I truly understood Psalm 139: 14, 17.
I discovered my true identity, my purpose and destiny and how much I was really worth to the people around me. I realized I wasn’t just living for myself anymore, I was living for Him. I fell so in love with Him and as a result I started to love myself. So this is a happy story because I finally found my prince charming.
The encounter didn't happen in a day, a week , a month. It has been a whole journey. A journey of inner healing; rejecting all the lies I had believed about myself, renewing my mind with the word of God about me and a lot of self discovery. The most important discovery being that I am beautiful, smart and talented. I am learning to love and appreciate who I really am.
I've managed to get rid of the wrong company in my life; those who did not hesitate to make me look down on myself and I keep thanking God for new, wonderful friendships that are changing my life!
I have also also realized there is no rush to be in a relationship or to marry, either. I am still young and have so many great opportunities to create impact around me. This journey proves exciting.
I have actually started this new thing, Operation 'Me Time', where I get to take myself out on dates to cool places, I take tests and ask questions to discover latent abilities and passions of mine, and I learn new stuff. I am currently taking creative writing and music lessons and having the time of my life.
I am single but not lonely. I do have friends and they are amazing. I cherish every minute I spend with them. But one still has to learn to love themselves enough in order to truly love other people.
I still want to be someone’s princess charming someday, but as my own person with my own will, my own dreams and identity. Cheers, to Singleness!!
Glory Mafor is a journalist and serves as Public Relations Officer and online content manager for a couple of organizations in Buea, Cameroon. She is also a song writer, worship leader and pianist at the Bethel Atlanta Cameroon School of Supernatural Ministry and she is actively part of a growing community of writers and (spoken word) poets; she expresses her art on her blog and podcasts. She desires to empower young people, to attain their full creative potential and walk in their God given persona and she likes to think of herself as a creativity activist. Blog